Just in case any of my followers wondered what happened to me… One year ago in January, I started a dual master’s degree. I am pursuing a MSN/MBA that is accelerated. Although I am succeeding very well in my courses, I am failing in the rest of my life. My diet has gone completely out of control. I can’t seem to get hold of myself and eat anything and everything I possibly can. I rarely exercise and can’t seem to get on a routine. I quit spending time with friends and family. My husband complains because I spend more time on the computer than with him. It’s been a year. I have gained weight, my clothes don’t fit and I am unhappy with myself and my body. I’m wondering if this degree is worth it. Why can’t I just be happy with being a nurse. Better yet, why can’t I figure out how to complete my schoolwork and do all the things that I did before? I’m so obsessed with getting A’s and making sure my school work is flawless. That’s all I can focus on. I have a problem working on more than one issue at a time, obviously.
Every day I wake up with good intentions, but every day I fail. This didn’t used to be the case. I used to believe in “no excuses, just do it”. I don’t know what has become of me and I don’t know what it’s going to take to get my shit together again. I have 2 years of school left. If I don’t figure it out soon, I’m going to be a fat lonely woman by then.
Being in a master’s program with a 3.98 GPA, you’d think I was smart enough to know the answers. In fact, I probably do know the answers, and could probably give someone like myself some great advice. I let the days go by without acting on what I know is right and good for me and my relationships. I take full responsibility for my own failure. I just haven’t figured out why, why I don’t act. Sure I got excuses, I’m tired, overworked, full of carbs, and have lots of papers to write. I’m going to ponder and figure it out as soon as I finish writing this paper on workplace ethics… TBC